


you are not alone in this

by celsidebottom



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Crying, Emotions, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, MY BRAND, [ew], and hugging, minor references to disordered eating, rating for swears, she/they earhart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:53:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27671618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celsidebottom/pseuds/celsidebottom
Summary: Earhart raps smartly on the cabin door and steps in without waiting for a response. Cel is sitting on the bed with their back to them, slightly hunched over.“Cel, there you are. I need-”She stops short as Cel turns to her, eyes wide and red-rimmed.“H-hey, Captain,” they whisper, wiping one eye with the sleeve of their coat. They sniff and sit up straighter, mouth trembling as they try to pull their expression into something stronger. “What, what can I do for you?”
Relationships: Amelia Earhart & Celiquillithon "Cel" Sidebottom, Amelia Earhart & Zolf Smith (minor)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 21





	you are not alone in this

**Author's Note:**

> title from timshel by mumford and sons  
> cel is in their cabin, which i have decided exists, that has a bed, which i have also decided exists. i neither know nor care what canon says about this matter /hj

Earhart raps smartly on the cabin door and steps in without waiting for a response. Cel is sitting on the bed with their back to her, slightly hunched over.

“Cel, there you are. I need-”

They stop short as Cel turns to them, eyes wide and red-rimmed.

“H-hey, Captain,” they whisper, wiping one eye with the sleeve of their coat. They sniff and sit up straighter, mouth trembling as they try to pull their expression into something stronger. “What, what can I do for you?”

For the life of her, Earhart can’t remember what she came in to ask them for. She’s seen grief before, seen tears, seen people quietly breaking down in spots where they think nobody will notice. Hell, she’s been in that position before, and she’s probably been the cause of it as well. Emotional collapse is nothing new to her, is her point, and she’s not going to let it complicate things.

And yet. 

Maybe it’s the small room, the few paces between them allowing her to see clearly their white-knuckled fists and a stray tear tracing down their cheek. Or maybe it’s the sheer shock of seeing such pain on the face she’s grown so used to presenting a happy exterior to the world, but she can’t help but feel as if she has, somehow, violated an invisible boundary between them.

Shit.

“You’re- crying,” they say. _Throw me overboard_ , they think. Dammit, they’re not cut out for this. Where’s Mr. Smith when you need him?

Cel laughs faintly, the crack in their voice painfully obvious. “W-well, you know, sometimes you just need to, uh, let- let it out, so to speak- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- to cause any trouble, I can go and do, um, whatever it is …” They trail off and stare at the ground. Earhart internally flounders, torn between wanting to give them space (and, selfishly, escape this situation) and desperately wanting to comfort them (despite not having a clue how to do so).

“No, it’s, it’s fine, I’ll just-” she says, gesturing to the door and starting to move towards it. “- give you some space, uh.” 

Her fingers are almost grazing the doorknob when their voice sounds again, quiet and hoarse.

“Stay?”

She inhales and turns back towards them. “Of- of course.” She sits on their bed beside them, a little awkwardly aware of how small she is compared to them, despite how they seem to shrink into themself. She darts a look to their hand and stiffly moves her own to cover it. Gods, but she’s useless at this. 

Cel sniffles. Is that a good or a bad sign? She’s not sure. They shift and she tries hard to stop herself freezing up but they just move closer, leaning into her. It’s fine. It’s quite nice. Earhart glances at their face; their eyes are closed and their breathing has steadied a little. She’s glad they’ve calmed down, even though she hasn’t really done anything to help.

Their thoughts wander a little, back to that week in the hotel in Hiroshima. Time had been a bit of a blur, or maybe they’re purposefully not dwelling on the details, but they remember waking often to see Azu sitting at their bedside, and though she hadn’t always given them acknowledgement, her silent presence gave a little comfort nonetheless. Maybe Cel is the same way. They laugh inwardly at the thought of comparing themself to Azu in this regard, but their anxiety eases a little.

“I’m sorry,” Cel repeats quietly, and Earhart’s hand involuntarily tightens in theirs.

“Nothing to apologise for,” they answer. Cel doesn’t respond, and the silence lasts until Earhart notices the light filtering in through the window start to turn orange.

“I’d, uh, better be going now,” they say, nodding towards the sky. Cel makes a small noise of agreement, and they hop off the bed. They make it a little way down the corridor, far enough that Cel wouldn’t hear, before groaning loudly and thunking their head against the wall.

Shit.

\--

She’s sitting at her desk, as she does most evenings, alternating between staring listlessly at the map to Svalbard and half-heartedly playing with the food that Mr. Smith insists on taking to her cabin whenever she doesn’t show up for meals, when there’s a quiet knock on the door. She drops her spoon and sits up straighter.  
“Come in.”

The door is slowly pushed open and Cel hovers at the threshold for a moment before taking a deep breath and nodding a greeting.

“C-captain.” They walk in, one hand anxiously pulling at a loose thread on their sleeve, and stop in the middle of the room, a little further away from her than would be considered friendly.

“Cel.” Earhart looks them up and down - their eyes are no longer red, their hands no longer gripped into such tight fists.

“I- I just wanted to say, um, sorry-” Earhart opens her mouth to protest but they continue “-you’re a busy person, Captain, I, I didn’t mean to take up your time with my- my personal business, um. But- thank you. I, uh, I appreciate it.”

She stares straight ahead and for once is glad for how much taller they are than her in this position, because she’s not sure she could manage meeting their eyes without giving her own emotions away. She swallows.

“Your ‘personal business’, huh?” she says, and realises how harsh it sounded only when Cel winces. She grimaces and tries again. 

“As captain of this ship, your wellbeing is … not only ‘personal’. It is _my_ role to- to take care of you. Um. Support you.” She tries very hard to keep her voice steady and ignore the cruel voice in the back of her head pointing out exactly how good a job she tends to do at taking care of her crew. “And, well. We’ve been through a hell of a lot lately. It’s nothing bad to, uh, need to take a moment.” 

“You’ve been spending more time around Mr. Smith,” Cel quips with a nervous smile. She clears her throat, embarrassed.

“He’s a good f- a good first mate,” she mumbles. 

“He is.”

“You, um. You’re alright?” It’s half a statement and half a question, as she tilts her head up to look them in the eye.

“Yeah.” They take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Yeah. Thank you, Ca- um, Amelia,” they say, equally tentatively. Earhart nods.

“Anytime.”

Cel rocks back and forth on their feet slightly, searching for something to say. Finding nothing, they flash a quick smile at her before taking their leave. Earhart watches the door after they’ve left for a while, then looks back to her half-cold meal. Thinks about the look Mr. Smith gives her when she doesn’t finish. Grimaces.

Even cold, it’s not bad.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to writing rangers for being lovely + helping with this ^^


End file.
